An Hilarious Blonde Joke

Had to share this joke - i shared with my family in the hospital and we laughed, so I hope it has the same effect on you!

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper was driving home, he spotted the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brought his car to a stop, he saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement as the blonde struggled mightily and barely managed to flip the gator onto its back.


Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screamed in frustration.....


SHIT! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!

Would love to hear from you - share some love!

Look how Smart I am!!

A fabulous sister from the land down under posted this - I love it!!!

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out
to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
Good grief, look how smart I am!

come join us over at Sisterhood of Scrap - some really fabulous ladies (see my right side bar for link)

Would love to hear from you - share some love!

CELEBRATION Crop - TES Turns Three!

*** The Everyday Scrapper Turns Three This Month! ***

You are invited to The Everyday Scrapper's Birthday CELEBRATION CROP

Hosted on Saturday, March 20th to Saturday, March 27th 2010, right here in the Online Crop section of The Everyday Scrapper Space!


Details:

On March 20th, this category of the forum will have 13 challenges, all with prizes, for you to enter. Each challenge hostess will post her own challenge with an example layout and a photo of the prize.

You have until midnight (eastern time) on March 27th to submit your layouts by posting them on the challenge thread you are entering it for.

Winners will be selected by random.org and announced March 28-30th on the same thread the challenge was posted on.

The rules:

- Participants must most their layouts on the appropriate thread.
- Winners of the challenges have 7 days (after the winner is announced) to claim their prize by PMing the challenge host to claim their prize before a new winner is announced.
- No combining of challenges - one layout per challenge.
- New layouts only, please.

Any questions? Please ask me!

I hope you all mark your calendars and join us for this CELEBRATION event!
PS. Spread the word!! :)

please scroll down to comment, make a suggestion, or pose questions

Cardboard Dog Sled Races

Christina, Desrai & Kaeley working incredibly hard on their entry. In the end....

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Roxy Racer
2 rolls of silver duct tape
1 roll of yellow duct tape
plastic for sliding
tons of decorations
laminating
rope
looking up "musher slang"
testing out the sliding in snow
decorating hats
.... loads of laughter, catching breath and kicking butt in racing!!

*** Team Spirit - Best Decorated (out of 8 teams) ****

PRICELESS fun - way to go girls - you ROCK!!!

please scroll down to comment, make a suggestion, or pose questions

Join us on February 12th, 5pm EST as we kick off the "opening ceremonies" for our Winter Olympics Online Crop! One night only! Lots of fun challenges, games, and of course, some prizes to hand out (one for every challenge!)

You won't want to miss this! Bring a friend :-)

Challenges will be due February 15th.

Interested - email me & I would love to share further details with you!!!

please scroll down to comment, make a suggestion, or pose questions

Cuttlebug - Things to do & Use

Part of my New Years plan is to maake a layout or card or hey, why not both while using a new technique (or one from ages ago) as well as an embellishment that I haven't used for awhile.

I love my bug... I wasnt' going to buy it - had too many other things to do & use... well then i got it for $30 USD and was hooked.. then I had a an AZ friend of mine go shopping and get me every file folder out there (thanks Elaine - she shopped great with my money). I am still re-arranging and setting up - i now know I have to lower it to a different spot as my girls love it too.

Unique techniques with a Cuttlebug
(or a Big Shot or other embossing/die-cut machine)


Link to Provocraft Blog - instructions, gallery, embossing & more

Here's a list on how to stack

Now go see Mel as she has put together an amazing list - techniques, instructions... have fun!!

I would love to see your art!


please scroll down to comment, make a suggestion, or pose questions

Kids say the darnest things....

I rec'd this email today and am still laughing.. love it

What Is Butt Dust???

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!
These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'


TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget .
This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles....